Monday, December 29, 2014

The Thrilla' in the Villa

A Boy... His Dog... and A Cat!
An epic tale of three stomachs



When it comes to food, kids and pets aren't all that finicky, it seems. Flavor seems to take a back seat to curiosity

My grandson, Liam Kenneth Horn, is about as curious a child as the world has ever known. So, it's no surprise that he doesn't mind dipping his fingers into any kind of dish that happens to be sitting on the kitchen floor.

Equally nosy is our new Bassett puppy, Riley Cooper. Better known simply as Riley. Riley was blessed with a exaggerated sense of smell. She finds her way into every corner of the house and backyard, always just a half step behind her inquisitive snout.

Then there's the allusive (and always hunting for a meal) Truman Horn. Even as a kitten, Truman was a spitfire, quickly defending a position under the piano stool. It caused us to comment, "Give 'em hell Harry!" With Harry being a poor name for a female cat, we settled on naming her Truman.

These three would keep any adult busy as they try to manage all of the high-energy escapades. However... as Liam, Riley and Truman criss-cross each others paths, it's quite dizzying. The following battle for dining room dominance will give you an idea of what it's been like at the Horn residence for the past several weeks.


The Tale of the Tape


In THIS corner… weighing in at about 30lbs… standing tall at 2’-8”, the “Matador from Ecuador”, the “Youth from 'Muth”… the most famous grandson on Facebook… LIAM “OWL EYES” HORN!!!






And in THIS corner… weighing in at 14lbs (give or take)… and standing 10” tall at the shoulder, the “Online Feline”, the “Sis with a Hiss”… the ever aloof… TRUMAN “THE BOSS CAT” HORN!!





FINALLY… in THIS corner… weighing in at 8lbs-2oz, soaking wet… standing a full 6 inches tall ('cause of her short Bassett-puppy legs)… the “Galloping Pup”, the “Princess of Mess”… 
RILEY “THE MONGOOSE” COOPER



The Belly Rumble

Round 1: As the bell rings, Liam takes the first jab by crawling over to Truman’s cat dish. He reaches in and grabs a whole handful of Friskies. The turkey/cheddar-shreds squish easily in grasp. He’s got this early battle in the palm of his hands, until… grandpa and dad pull young Owl Eyes back to his corner saying, “NO Liam NO… Leave the cat food alone!”

Round 2: Truman makes the next big move as she sneaks under Liam’s highchair to snatch up any stray chicken that Liam happens to toss her way. Seeing Truman’s stealthy cat-moves, Liam starts whipping food at his opponent. He giggles every time he makes a direct mashed potato-hit into the cat’s fur. Momma Ruth stops his pitching arm, saying, “NO Liam NO… quit throwing food at the cat!”



Round 3: In this round, Riley demonstrates her mongoose-like, lightning-fast moves as she darts to the cat dish the instant she comes inside from her regular potty-training session in the backyard. Acting like a canine vacuum, Riley downs the entire content of the bowl in seconds, while three voices shout, “NO Riley NO… Don’t eat the cat’s food!” 


Round 4: Liam grows weary as round four begins. He fumbles his bottle... it hits the floor and in an instant... Riley seizes the bottle by the nipple. In a heartbeat... puppy and bottle disappear around the corner, as the grownups holler, “NO Riley NO… bring that bottle back here!”


Round 5: With the napping human out the way for a couple of rounds, Truman slinks into the kitchen from her double-super-secret hiding spot upstairs to catch an afternoon snack. As her dish is placed in front of her, in her well-established corner, she spits and hisses at Riley. At the same time that Riley counter-barks and belly-slides a couple of paces away from a swinging set of sharp talons. The parents yell, “NO Riley NO… jeepers... that cat still has all of its claws. You leave her alone while she’s eating!”

Round 6: This round goes to the boss-cat. Truman after being annoyed just enough to leave her own dish behind, takes a calm, easy stroll right over the dog’s dish. She gracefully sets herself down and begins to nibble Riley’s puppy-cuisine. Riley barks at the unaffected feline, as the rest of us jump in, saying “NO Truman No… leave the dog dish alone! I promise… we’ll make sure you get some quiet time, for your own food!”

Round 7: Fresh from a nap, Liam takes charge of the contest again as he toddles to the dog dish, newly vacated by the cat. The Youth from Frankenmuth promptly pops a handful of turkey/rice puppy bits into his mouth. “NO Liam NO… don’t eat the dog food! YUCK!”


Round 8: Well… in a totally unexpected move, Liam tosses orange slices to Riley. One by one, the slices hit the floor, serving as a distraction to take the “mongoose” away from her bowl. With the puppy’s back turned, ol’ Owl Eyes makes for the dog dish a second time. This time, Liam did not eat the food, as earlier counseled, but grabs handfuls of dry puppy food… plop plop, right into the water dish! “NO Liam NO… good grief… quit throwing the dog food into the water dish!”

Round 9: In the final round of this match… the referees mistakenly think they can take charge; the bottle, the cat dish and the puppy’s food bowl are soon sitting neatly on the counter. 

Just as we grownups breathe a sigh of relief, we hear the splashing/giggles of Liam slapping his palms into Riley's water dish. Riley, soaked from nose to tail, dances in circles, barking happily. Truman sits on a chair, which is tucked under the dining room table, fussing at all the noise. “No Liam No… quit playing in the water dish... Truman, quit your hissing, and for crying out Riley... stop that barking!”


The moral of the story is…


 Even if it’s a madhouse… there’s no place like home!